You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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