He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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