Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
