Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
