We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
