He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
