Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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