this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
