Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
