im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
