i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
