Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
