I have demons in me.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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