So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
