He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Watching her eat just hurts me
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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