apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
