Sponge bath it is.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
