pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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