we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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