I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
