Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
