when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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