Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
