well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
