Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Watching her eat just hurts me
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize