I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
