So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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