Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
