I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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