so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
