whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
