I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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