You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
