Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize