i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
