i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
