I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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