Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
