she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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