What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
