Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Randomize
