i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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