you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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