lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
