ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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