just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
