did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
