Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize