oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
