yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
