Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
