She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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