you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
