Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Randomize
