And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
