Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Im part way to drunk.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
