Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
What a dumb baby whore.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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