I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
