I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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