Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
