He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
