yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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