I wish I could teleport
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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