nutella sex= disaster
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
